Little Girl had her first dental exam today. They had her straddle me, facing my chest, and lean back into the lap of the hygienist and then the dentist. She didn’t cry and was very cooperative, and she has no cavities and all her teeth are correct in number and formation, and her frenulum, clipped as a newborn, has not grown back too tight.
But her thumb-sucking has already remodeled her bite, and the dentist advised us to get her to stop. Which, uh, how exactly do we do that? She sucks her thumb when she’s tired, sad, or uncertain, and indeed her thumb seems to be in or around her mouth when she sleeps, too. The dentist said when she sucks her thumb we should tell her, basically, that it will ruin her looks. Not only do I not want Little Girl worrying about her appearance now or in the abstract future, I certainly don’t want her thinking something she does that makes her feel good is bad because of what other people might think. Plus, in many ways, she’s just a baby who’s loved her thumb since she first found it inside me. It doesn’t seem fair to break them up, if I even could. Sure, when she’s just a little sad or frightened, I can try to cheer her up and distract her, but it’s not like I don’t do that anyway, and I’m in no rush to paint her little thumb with quinine like my grandparents did me. But I also don’t want her teeth messed up…
What do you think? She’ll be three next month.
9 July 2009 at 4:52 pm
That’s a hard one. Did you and Husband need braces? If so, if she’s going to have to wear braces eventually anyway, I’m wondering how much it matters that her bite is shifting now. I guess in your place I might gently try to tell her to stop, not using the dentist’s lame suggestion, but maybe saying something like it’s hurting her teeth and that will make it harder for her to eat or something. But honestly, I’m not sure what you’re supposed to do. You can’t police her 24 hours a day.
9 July 2009 at 6:14 pm
I had braces but it was related to my congenitally missing teeth (I have implants now). He didn’t have them. The dentist did say that this problem can eventually make it harder to eat, but I don’t want to make this connection to her since I have no idea what way it might be construed and cause weird eating issues or something.
9 July 2009 at 7:46 pm
Maybe you could substitute some kind of stuffed toy for her to hug when she needs some comfort. She’s old enough to pick one out, and could probably understand the concept if you explain it to her. Then every time you see her thumb heading for her mouth, you could give her the toy. I don’t know if it would work, but that’s all I’ve got. Oh wait – you could try my sister’s strategy that she’s been using to correct the nose-picking habits of my nephew – every time you see it, just calmly say “Don’t touch your face.”
As someone who had a messed up bite, screwed up teeth, cavities everywhere, braces for years, and just got a new retainer today, I can assure you that the less intervention necessary in your mouth, the better.
9 July 2009 at 7:54 pm
As the parent of a thumb sucker, I understand your frustration. How can you really stop her from doing it? Porgie’s top teeth are kind of crazy looking. I haven’t taken her to the dentist yet, but I am sure I’ll hear much of them.
9 July 2009 at 7:55 pm
“I’ll hear much of the same.” Not them. Please excuse me, I am mentally retarded.
9 July 2009 at 8:13 pm
Elise sucked her thumb until her 6th birthday when she voluntarily gave it up. We never pressed the issue with her and she was ready to quit cold turkey on her 6th birthday. (She had a security blanket and only sucked her thumb when she had the blanket. It was odd.) I never felt like it was an issue and it’s not like she sucked her thumb all of the time. The big difference is that the way in which she sucked did not effect her bite at all. She actually has perfect teeth despite the thumb sucking. I would not, however, tell little girl that it will affect her looks. She doesn’t need a complex. Shame on the dentist for suggesting it!
10 July 2009 at 8:34 am
I sucked my thumb until I was nine and never needed braces. My sister NEVER sucked her thumb and had braces for 3 years.
Smack the dentist upside the head with a cluestick.
10 July 2009 at 11:55 am
I sucked my thumb until the day I went to kindergarten. My parents never made any comments about it until my first day of school. My mom just told me that most other kids don’t suck their thumbs in kindergarten, and the “big girl” thing to do would be to give it up, and I did. I never needed braces, and maybe I’m ignorant here, but don’t you just lose the baby teeth anyway? Does sucking your thumb mess up your palate or mouth shape and affect your adult teeth?
10 July 2009 at 12:56 pm
The dentist did say it can affect the palate, and indeed already has in her case.
10 July 2009 at 6:53 pm
If it’s actually affecting the shape of her palate, I would definitely try to get her to stop. I like the idea of trying to substitute a lovey for her thumb instead of making it an issue about her thumb, and also the idea of “Don’t touch your face” rather than “Don’t suck your thumb”. Maybe you could try to relate it to her age–I’m not sure how. I was reading a blog where the mom told her almost-5-year-old that when he turned 5, his mouth with start liking potatoes. Sure enough, when he turned 5, he started eating them without a problem. Maybe something like that would work? I’m really not sure. Neither of our boys are thumb suckers, and P voluntarily gave up his nighttime pacifier a few months after turning 2, so we didn’t have to deal with it. The problem is that 3 is a tough age when kids REALLY assert their independence and try to figure out boundaries even more than when they’re 2, so you don’t want it to turn into a power struggle.
Well, that was totally useless from me!
10 July 2009 at 7:22 pm
She’s also, since the move, started biting her nails, so maybe I’ll try “don’t touch your face now that you’re a big girl.” But I doubt it will work.
13 July 2009 at 8:02 pm
I was a thumb-sucker. I trained myself to stop when I was about 5 years old. I remember sneaking off to hide for a few minutes for a quick fix here and there, sucking my thumb in private.
I think there’s a good chance that the shape of my mouth was affected, as I have quite crooked teeth. I *should* have had braces, but my family couldn’t afford them. I don’t like to think of my looks as “ruined,” though I do wish my teeth were straighter, and you will rarely see me smile with my teeth showing in photos.
On the other hand, I may well have ended up with crooked teeth anyhow. My daughter, who is three, has beautifully straight teeth. My 10-month-old son’s teeth, on the other hand, already appear to be growing in somewhat crooked. Neither child sucks their thumb, or has even used pacifiers. I think it may be just genetics and luck of the draw.
And I don’t have any great advice on how to stop the thumb-sucking. I don’t even remember whether my parents tried to get me to stop, though probably there was some sort of disapproval that lead to my own efforts to quit.
28 July 2009 at 10:27 pm
get a second opinion. i have read that thumb sucking is blamed for more than it actually causes