For his birthday, Husband shaved off his beard. Then today he got back from a run, took a shower, and asked me to cut off his pony tail. He donates his hair to Locks of Love every few years. Well, my friends, I don’t quite know how, but I totally fucked it up. It’s uneven, it’s too short to put up (well, one side is), and he’s really, really, really upset. As well he should be. I’m very, very, very sorry. There’s nothing I can do, and it’s not like, on Sunday afternoon, he can get it trimmed right, and he definitely can’t get it to grow. He’s going to have to cut it short since it’s a stupid between-length and he hates it short. How did I screw it up so much? Shit.
(Honestly, I think it looks okay now he evened out the one side. Actually, it looks neater than before. I cut off like fifteen inches, and the last five were pretty straggly. I mean, it’s kind of flippy, in a kind of, uh, girly way, in the back, but, you know, it’s cute. It’s nice! Really! I ran out to get him grippier rubber bands, to see if he could still make a pony tail, which I think he can, except for a wisp, but he won’t try them. I also offered to let him hack off my hair, to make us even, but he has declined. He’s focusing on being pissed. Bad wife.)
14 June 2009 at 5:33 pm
Oh no! I’m sure you feel awful, but what can you do, you know? Here’s hoping he gets used to it once he stops being mad.
14 June 2009 at 6:51 pm
…Hair grows back, you know?
14 June 2009 at 7:59 pm
I’m sure you feel really bad. But are you a hair dresser? What did he expect?
14 June 2009 at 8:50 pm
And that right there is why I refuse to shave my husband’s neck when he’s cutting his hair. He wants a straight hairline, and I couldn’t cut straight if you paid me. Yet he asks me every time. He has, however, stopped complaining when I screw it up!
That sucks, but he’ll get over it. He will probably also torture you with it for the rest of your days.
15 June 2009 at 8:26 am
Yes, I imagine I’ll hear about it for a while. Last night he was listing all his various woes (he’s Swedish, so he has many woes) and finished off with, “and you hacked off all my hair, which I loved, and it took me years to grow it long.” Shit, I really only cut it an inch or two more than he wanted, sheesh.
14 June 2009 at 11:21 pm
this is exactly why I quit cutting hubby’s hair. oohh man I am sooo sorry but seriously in 12 months he will be like remember when you f’d up my hair and you both will laugh :)
15 June 2009 at 5:48 am
Is he upset with how it looks, or that he can’t donate it to Locks of Love?
If it’s the former, go to a professional barber on Monday and get the job done properly. Is it the latter?
15 June 2009 at 8:24 am
Oh it doesn’t have to do with donating it. It’s fine to donate. I’ll mail it today.
He doesn’t like how it looks/that it’s shorter than he wanted it.
15 June 2009 at 8:58 am
Oh no! He’ll get over it and it will grow back but the feeling of “I hate my hair” sucks (for both of you, I’m sure).
15 June 2009 at 7:28 pm
Wait, does he have enough for a rat tail? Because that would rule.
15 June 2009 at 8:13 pm
Tell him to stop being a woman. It is only hair! It will grow!
16 June 2009 at 11:26 am
I really enjoy reading your blog, and I’m not much of a commenter (working on this), but I HAD to comment here because I have been in your shoes! Right after my husband and I got married (almost 10 years ago), he was getting ready to start a new job, and thus was cutting his own hair on a Sunday afternoon with his razor/trimmer. Typically, he would call me in to help him make the neckline straight and to touch up any areas he missed. I was fully engrossed in the Soleil Moon Frye E! True Hollywood Story when he asked for my help. He handed me the razor intending for me to trim his neckline, but I went ahead and touched up a spot he missed on the crown of his head, but he had taken the guard off (expecting me to trim his neckline) so I shaved a bald 2″x2″ square in the back of his head! He was ANGRY! He reminded me that he was starting a new job the next day. Eek, I was so so so sorry. I felt so so so bad! He decided to put a bandaid over the bald spot and wear a baseball cap to his first couple weeks at work. No one asked about it, and it grew out enough to even it out after about 2 weeks. He thinks it is hysterical now – it took about a year before he wasn’t bitter about it anymore.
16 June 2009 at 8:57 pm
Not only will his hair grow back, but for some reason on men it grows twice as fast. At least it seems to when I’m the one trying to grow out my hair every other year and it always looks like shit. And it’s not because my spouse is cutting it.