And

Did you know that I am still not done miscarrying? Stupid hCG won’t go down. Ultrasound and another blood draw the day before we move. Awesome! Oh, and the lady scheduling the ultrasound blithely asked me how many weeks I was. “Uh, that’s all done,” I had to say in the waiting room, waving my arm casually. Fun times at the OB’s today.

The research corporation I work for was just bought. This means massive amounts of urgent paperwork on servers that refuse my password. And as for the actual work part someone discovered this big error and I had to spend all evening fixing it when I had The Dining Room Sorting scheduled, meaning I have to do that–when, exactly? It’s certainly a good thing I’ve taught the class I have now five times because I certainly am not interested in fitting in time for it right now. There are just not enough hours in the day.

Do you know what I am up to? Putting everything in my jam-packed house into three categories: ship to Sweden, take to beach house, get rid of. I’d say just about half is stuff I want out of the house Anyone who comes to the house is harassed to take tables and knick knacks and books with them when they leave. It’s really a nightmare, all this. Sometimes I can’t believe how many thousands of dollars we are paying to continue owning the same crap, too. And I can’t sleep anymore. Midnight to one AM are some of my most productive hours. This is crazy; I feel just this side of a panic attack at all times. I will really need to be at the beach by the time this is all wrapped up, just to decompress, to have nothing to do.

Plus I still have my two jobs, have to get all our medical records, am running around doing a million errands, applying for a teaching job at the beach, had a flat tire, have to go out of town to fulfill prior charity commitment this weekend, get the house ready to put on the market, Husband has to paint everything, I need to do the yard…and…well it’s really just too much. Friends are pitching in, and I am so, so, so grateful, but this is just wildly unpleasant and too, too much, and I hate having to get rid of some of the things, or rushing to go through them, and I am still putting off the baby stuff and…two weeks left, one and a half till the stuff goes to storage, and I can’t even figure out when to schedule the packing what with work and the dentist and the OB and…