Let’s travel back in time

I originally wrote this on January 14th and then got squeamish about posting. I still don’t quite know the, uh, resolution, though I have my suspicions, but I’ll bring you up to date over the next week.

After what I will circumspectly (and inaccurately) describe as a lot of “discussion” and “contemplation” I think Husband and I are now ready to try for another baby. Wow, right?

Just in January, though. After that we’re back to contraception.

Why yes, I understand this is a strange plan. Basically, what happened is that I have gotten all freaked out about the idea of waiting to have another in Sweden, away from my mom and friends and what I know, not to mention my baby accessories, and decided I’d rather have a baby here, even though I still don’t actively want pregnancy or, um, babies. Mostly I’m worried that time will pass and one day it will be too late in all kinds of ways.

But I don’t want to be pregnant or have a newborn while we are moving, which means I have to have a baby in the fall, which means I have to get pregnant before March, and since Husband will be abroad for work most of February, that means I need to get pregnant in January, which, as you may be aware, is going on right now.

If this thing doesn’t pan out, which it probably won’t, given my reproductive history and the fact that we are giving it only one month, I am definitely going to lease that horse. Win win! (I know this sounds flippant. It will, of course, be a big deal either way. It just all feels a fiction at the moment.)