Television

The chances are good that you will differ from me in either practice or theoretical rationale on this, or both, but my child doesn’t watch any TV (or movies). I am lucky to have the energy and resources to keep her busy doing other things, so the only reason she even knows that the big black box has some functionality is because she’s occasionally been around a turned-on TV at other people’s houses or public places (though even in those situations, Baby isn’t interested and doesn’t pay attention to the screen). When she’s around an “on” television at, say, someone’s house, I do also actively keep her away from it or try to get it turned off, because I’d rather she and the children around her have the opportunity to take advantage of enjoying the environment they’re in.

I honestly don’t know anybody else whose child never watches TV so I feel like I come off like a crazy, self-righteous militant when this topic comes up. A large part of why we don’t watch it isn’t because I think it’s bad for her full-stop (though I certainly don’t think TV is particularly good for anybody) but because I can’t think of anything I’d like her to watch. I don’t know much about children’s television shows, but I doubt I would be delighted by their content even if I did (from what I’ve read or seen in passing, even the seemingly innocuous stuff has too many short takes and pratfalls and insults and sarcasm). If I did find something for her to watch, I doubt she would be interested in sitting still for more than 15 seconds to watch it. Plus, if we are just hanging around at home, it’s likely to be in the playroom, where there is no TV.

Baby and I are really just way too busy for TV, what with her cars, balls, friends, backyard, pets, baby, chores (okay, my chores that she “assists” with), and so forth. Rather than be judgey that other people’s kids do watch TV, mostly I am just surprised that their kids are willing to sit around and watch it to begin with. I do believe, though, that children simply do not know what is real and what isn’t, and they are constantly learning about how the world works and what is their role in it. I would rather Baby learn from actual experience in an environment that is still somewhat under my control. Yes, she will and does see negative behavior and have unpleasant experiences, but at least they are real, not created by the superfluous influence of the TV, and I am there with her experiencing them too. Also, I prefer Baby not to become too familiar (for as long as possible) with all the commercialized characters of those children’s shows, with their Elmos and their Doras, sold separately.

This is on my mind because of a few recent events at gatherings of my mothers’ group. At some of our volunteer events and lately at our monthly meetings, the children have been sequestered in a separate room from the women for the most part so that people can Get Things Done. Inevitably I seem to be the person who ends up in the room with the children to supervise. Though I guess I’m a little annoyed that nobody else ever volunteers to do this, I do really enjoy keeping the kids busy, and am good at it. Today, for example, I had (a fluctuating number, but about) seven kids from one-year-olds to six-year-olds, and we identified colors, hopped, counted things, sang songs, ran around waving our arms like crazy people, played ball, sorted toys, read books, pretended to be firemen, and so forth. The kids stayed happy and busy and got to socialize and exercise.

So why, I ask you, does every mother who comes to drop her kid off at my door ask me why the TV isn’t on? I kid you not. “Oh, they don’t have a movie?” These mothers don’t even want to give their kid a chance to make the most of an opportunity to spend time with other children. It drives me nuts. Once one lady kept insisting on putting on the TV to watch what I considered to be the wildly inappropriate movie “The Grinch” even though her two-year-old had run right into the room and started having a great time playing cars. Nonetheless, she sat him down in front of the screen and commanded him, “Don’t stop watching or I will turn the TV off!” What? She was forcing him to watch TV rather than play and run around? And in the process, she was encouraging other children to zone out and stop interacting (even though Baby, characteristically, didn’t pay any attention to the film). So I turned the TV off when she left and he had fun playing with the others. I guess she realized that her kid could survive without TV, because morning she didn’t say anything about it to me, just happily dropped him off, asking me if I have a “Ph.D in children.”

What do you think about small children and TV?